Coming tomorrow: 31 days of albums from 2013!

Here we are again, at the end of another year that feels like it went by in a flash. Whether it was a good year for you or not, one thing we can't deny is that a lot of good music was released. Starting tomorrow, I will feature an album(s) a day that I feel are worth checking out. I know most people do a top 10 at most but I am always searching and listening for something new to listen to. With that being said, 31+ albums to mention is a lot and they can't all be pure gold, but they have at least a song or a reason for me adding them to my list. As we get closer to the end of the year, the ranking of each album will also grow, so hang in there! I hope you join me in my musical journey of 2013. Give feedback, listen to some tunes and have fun!

T Time: AnimaTed

OK kiddies, it's time huddle up around your tube televisions, grab a big bowl of cereal, and watch Mr. T's cartoon! This animated series followed Mr. T as he coached a gymnastics team that just so happened to also solve mysteries on their down time. It premiered in 1983 and ran for 2 seasons. If you've got 20 minutes to kill, and I pity the fool who doesn't, give the first full episode a watch:

Of course, no cartoon franchise is complete without merchandise, and they certainly made use of the trendy toys of the 80's to slap Mr. T's toonified face. Naturally, there was a board game with an interesting plot:

"Mr. T's Gymnastics Team has to get to the airport before the clock runs out (and presumably the flight leaves). Each member of the team has three errands they have to complete - pick up their gym suit from the dry cleaners, say goodbye to the team mascot, stop by the police station to report a crime and so on. Along the way, players can land on spaces with red stars that inflict random punishments and rewards on them." source

Presto Magix got in the game by offering a 'working out' set that came with transfers that allowed you to color in the characters and various accessories which would then add them to the scene. I'm sure one session of playing with this was enough.

You weren't truly an eighties icon until kids could color you in, stick you in the oven and shrink you.

Every cool kid had a Lite Brite. You know, that thing with all the pegs your parents would yell at you about after stepping on them? Well, you could purchase a kit that had 12 pictures for you to use with your Lite Brite which included Mr. T's head and his mohawked dog Dozer.

 The fun didn't stop there! You could get watches, bookmarks and beach towels to help show your love for animated Mr. T.

I hope you enjoyed this session of T Time. Now remember kids, stay in school!

10 Ways To Expand Your Love For 'The Human Centipede'

I think it's safe to say most of the population has at least heard the film The Human Centipede at this point. Whether it was from Tosh.0's spoiler alert, South Park's Human CentIpad episode (which you can watch in full here) or actually watching the film, you can't deny that it has quickly become a big part of pop culture. I personally enjoyed the film, mainly because I have a sick sense of humor, but I'm not focusing on the film itself here. I want to highlight some of the things that have spawned because of this film. From products to video games, I scoured the internet to find 10 interesting things that embrace the ass-to-mouth mania that is the Human Centipede!

The Siamese Triplet Pillows
I'll start this off with a little shameless self promotion by mentioning the pillows my company, Horror Decor, makes. These are three separate pillows that velcro together to create a 52" piece that would be great for any family room couch!

Human Centipede: The Game

This classic 8-bit style game puts you in the position of Dr. Heiter, who has to now shoot and kill the members of your centipede before they escape, while also collecting glasses of water with roofies in it which slows down the centipede, as well as trying to avoid the Police. Give it a shot, you will find that it is strangely addicting! Play it for free here.

Human Centipede Clay Figure

I gotta say, this thing is awesome! Handmade and hand painted, the talented fellow at clayguy.com has made a really impressive piece any true horror fan would be proud of and is available for $85. He has also made a Dr. Heiter and Martin (from Human Centipede 2) figures as well. I highly recommend checking out all of his work!

Human Centipede Pipe

Someone actually took the time to turn the ass-to-mouth imagery into a glass blown pipe! Now smokers can truly feel like they are putting shit in their lungs! It looks like the creator of this made a comment on this source page and stated that he can be contacted if you really need to have one of these.

Human Centipede Scarf

What better way to stay warm in the winter than with a nice cozy scarf? You can get your own for $75 here. They also are selling the crochet pattern for the DIYers out there for only $5.99 here.

Human Centipede: The Musical

Yup, you read that correctly! A theater group at Emerson College took the time to act out and songify the film. I'm not a huge fan of musicals but I gave it a partial watch and it is rather entertaining. The entire performance is available on Youtube here.

Human Centipede Cat Toy

Even cats can get in on the fun! It seems to be unavailable at the moment, but if this is something you must have, keep an eye on Oh Boy Cat Toy's Etsy page in hopes it will return someday.

Human Centipede Dolls

Were you one of those kids who liked to torment Barbie dolls? Well, now you can have her ultimate torture on display! Each one is handmade and can be found here for $45.

Human Centipede T-Shirt: The Einstein Sequence
There are lots of different shirts out there based on this film but this design is by far my favorite. I always knew there was something off about Einstein! For a measly $15, you can get your very own at tshirtbordello.com.

Human Sexipede: A Porn Parody

I think we all saw this one coming! The adult film industry has always taken full advantage of the most popular film titles, so naturally this one was destined to be made! A snippet of some of the high quality acting can be seen here.


Know of something that I missed? Feel free to let me know in the comment section below.

A Sucker For 6/8

I'm always looking for new music to listen to. Whenever I listen to a new album, there's always a track or two that stand out more than the others for me, which I'm sure is true for most people as well. But I have come to the realization that the one or two stand out tracks for me are often in the 6/8 time signature. (For those of you that are unfamiliar with time signatures, it is how a song is counted. The most common time signature is 4/4, but 6/8 is a close second in rock and pop music. Some of the more popular examples are Queen's "We Are The Champions" and REM's "Everybody Hurts". I won't bore you with a music lesson, so I'll get back on track here!) I really can't tell you why I'm attracted to it, but it just seems to be the best way to win me over musically. For example, the two latest albums I have been listening to are Queens Of The Stone Age's "...Like Clockwork" and One Minute Silence's "Fragmented Armageddon". Both, like usual, each had stand out tracks for me. After listening to OMS's track "Fruit From The Lie" a few times, I realized it was in 6/8. Curious, I thought about the QOTSA disc and the songs that I liked best. One being the track "Kalopsia" which, of course, is also in 6/8!

To truly solidify this revelation, I thought back to some of my favorite songs to see if this was truly a trend, and sure enough, my playlist is saturated with 6/8! Below are a few examples of some of my favorites, including the two most recent additions to the list. If I attempted to list every 6/8 song I like, I would need an entire blog devoted to that, so I'll only list a few!

Feel free to chime in with some of your favorite 6/8 tunes!

T Time: T Tunes

Mr. T has done it all: actor, wrestler, motivator and of course rapper. Today I'm focusing on an EP he released in 1984 called "Mr. T's Commandments". It consisted of seven tracks (Mr. T's Commandment, Don't Talk to Strangers, The Toughest Man in the World, Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love), The One and Only Mr. T, No Dope No Drugs and You Got to Go Through It) that oozes 80's cheese and Mr. T's positive attitude. I included two video tracks below (and a temperamental flash player with the entire album that may or may not work!) so do yourself a favor, crank those speakers, press play and start jamming!

Missed last weeks T Time? Check it out here, sucka!

T Time: Breakfast

Since I was a kid, Mr. T has been a hero of mine. I can't exactly pin point why, but for some reason his cheesy charm has always brought a smile to my face. Because of this, I will be dedicating a continuing series of posts to all things T., and I pity the fool who don't like it!

To get this shindig started, I figured I would open up the pantry of the past and pour a big bowl of Mr. T cereal. I vaguely remember it tasting very similar to Cap'n Crunch, but honestly it could have tasted like cardboard and I still would have eaten it because Mr. T said "It's cool"! Plus, it came with stickers!

And who can forget the cameo that Mr. T cereal made in Pee Wee's Big Adventure!

Why I Dislike Ti West

First off, I'll clarify that I don't dislike Ti as a person, just his professional decisions. Now, for those of you that aren't familiar with him, Ti West is a film maker that has done mostly horror related movies, and I don't like most of them. I've seen a lot of films in my day, many being horror, and many not being very good. I have no negative feelings against those film makers at all. Bad films happen, it's not a huge deal. If someone makes a bad movie, I'll still give their next one a shot. Then why am I calling out Ti West? Here's my film-by-film explanation:

The first film I saw by Ti was House Of The Devil. It was purposely made to look and feel like an 80's style horror flick and I enjoyed it. It was a slow burn story about a college student who takes a house sitting job for some extra cash that turns out to be something much more sinister. It didn't have a lot of action, but I think it achieved the goal he was going for and was overall successful. This made me very hopeful for this film maker. I even did an interview with him for Scars Magazine, which you can read here for free.

The next movie in line was Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever. There was a lot of controversy surrounding this film. Ti made it public that the final version of the film was not his. It was re-edited and partially re-shot behind his back. He tried to take his name off of it but the producers did not allow it. This is where he put himself in the firing range. I'm sure this kind of thing happens on a daily basis in Hollywood, but you never hear about it. At the time, I wasn't sure if this was a bold move to hold on to his creative credibility or just an act of douchebaggery. Only time would tell. I did see the film and it wasn't very good. There were some creative gore scenes, but overall it was just too cheesy and did nothing for the series. I'm not so sure a different edit would have saved it, but who knows.

When I did his interview, Ti was still attached to the follow up film to A Haunting In Connecticut, A Haunting In Georgia. Once again, word was hitting the streets that issues were arising between Ti and the studio. Dread Central spoke to him who said this:

"So I was on The Haunting in Georgia movie for a while, and we got to the point where we were making different movies, and it was like I don't want to risk us realizing that so late in the game. It's also important for me to write and direct my own movies and edit them so with this MPI-Glass Eye Pix thing, I can do that. The Innkeepers can be my own movie, and [to do that] as long as I can do that is important."

Was this another move to hold true to his artistic credibility? I still wasn't sure. Finally, a film that he was happy to put his name on was released. As soon as The Innkeepers was released, I grabbed a copy so I could see the masterpiece that "the man" was keeping him from creating. The film follows two hotel employees working the final days at the Yankee Pedlar Inn who decide to investigate the possibility of a haunting. I watched and waited for something to happen. I continued to wait. Is something happening here? Nope. It's nearing the end, it's gotta get good now, right? Still nope.That's it? Damn it! I was so disappointed. Maybe my hopes were too high, but with all the drama being built beforehand, I couldn't help but have high expectations.

V/H/S was a film that I was really looking forward to without even knowing who was involved. An anthology style film that used found footage in a new and creative way sounded very promising. Luckily, I was right in thinking that as the majority of it was great. I did, however, learn that Ti had done one of the stories before I saw it and I couldn't help but cringe. I went forward in viewing it without seeing which part was his on purpose to see if I could pick it out. When I got to the segment titled "Second Honeymoon", I saw a dragged out story with very little payoff and really didn't fit with the overall feel of the film. I immediately knew that was Ti's contribution. I was right.

If by chance Ti were to ever read this, this is for him: Don't take this as a personal attack. What I mean with this article is: if you are going to go out of your way to "hold on to your integrity", don't make shitty movies. Compromise is part of the business. From what I've seen, your creative juices are very bland when left alone. Allow others to throw in some flavor and you will have a much tastier end product. The end.