Weird chips from England

I recently went on a vacation to the Caribbean which was a very welcomed climate change as the weather in Rhode Island this February has been filled with way too much snow. We took a cruise ship down there and stopped at four islands: San Juan - Puerto Rico, St. Thomas - U.S. Virgin Island, St. Martin - Dutch and French property, and Tortola - British Virgin Island. I'm not much of a beach person so my goal at each island was to find some unique shops that properly represented the island and/or country that owned said island. With San Juan and St. Thomas being American properties, I got what I expected there, plenty of commercial stores and restaurant chains, so not a lot of shopping took place at either island. St. Martin was what I was most excited for as it is shared by both the French and the Dutch so my imagination ran with stores full of wooden shoes and cheese. Sadly, none of this was found. There were plenty of tacky souvenirs, jewelry and booze. That's it.

At this point, I'm sure your thinking, "Matt, what does any of this have to do with chips from England?". Well internet, I'll tell you. The final island we visited was Tortola. I had heard that there weren't a ton of shops available here as it is one of the newer stops added to these cruise tours so my expectations were very low on finding anything special. Once we got to the island, I was happy to see that there were a good amount of options and they were all small mom and pop shops. Not long after we walk into town, we saw a sign pointing us to a place that sold "foods from England". We followed the sign and found a tiny hole-in-the-wall place chock full of exactly what they claimed and I couldn't have been happier. This is the kind of place I was looking for all along. There were shelves filled with every type of food and beverage you could think of. After a few minutes of wandering around this magical place, I found the holy grail, the snack aisle. This is where I found a wall full of cases of small bags of chips all with flavors I've never seen before. I began trying to decide which flavors to try when my wife Nichole said four magical words: "just get them all". I did.

Now let's get to talking about chips! All of the flavors that I purchased are from the Walkers crisp company. If you'll notice below, the logo looks identical to our all familiar Lays logo and for good reason. Walkers was founded in 1948 in Leicester, England by Harry Walker, and acquired by Frito-Lay in 1989. Learning that made me wonder even more why these flavors aren't available in the U.S.

Here we go, in the order of how I tried them, 8 weird chip flavors, or crisps as they call them, from England:

Monster Munch roast beef: Monster Munch is a baked corn snack made by Walkers that is in the shape of what I assume is supposed to be a monster hand but resembles a catchers mitt more than anything. I did really like the texture, similar to a cheese puff but without the orange finger aftermath. As for the flavor, I liked that as well. I don't know that I would say it truly tastes like roast beef, more like the seasoning that would be on the meat, giving it a beef-ish flavor. Overall, very enjoyable and I could see American snackers munching these up no problem.

Monster Munch pickled onion: I have never had a pickled onion before so I didn't really know what to expect here. I like sour cream and onion chips and fuyuns so I figured it would be in the ball park of those flavors. Nope. According to a friend who tried these with me and does enjoy pickled onions, they are spot on, further solidifying that I will continue to live my life pickled onion free. Yuck.

Now to the normal potato chips, um, crisps. 

 Unmistakably cheese & onion with cheddar from Somerset: This was a fairly tame chip with subtle hints of both cheddar and onion that was good start to these unique flavors. We don't often see cheese and onion as stand alone flavors in the U.S. which I assume is why we don't see this option on our shelves. If you do happen to see it pop up somewhere, don't be afraid, it's not bad at all.

Undeniably picked onion with real British vinegar: After trying the Monster Munch of the same flavor, I certainly wasn't excited for this one, but I gave it a shot just for you internet. Expecting an identical flavor as the Monster Munch, I was quickly punched in the face with pure vinegar at first bite. Wow was that strong. I like salt and vinegar chips but this was very overpowering. After recovering for a minute, I went back once again just for you. Once the vinegar flavor died down, the pickled onion flavor squeezed in at the end, making for an overall awful chip. Double yuck.

Simply roast chicken with free range chicken from Devon: These chips taste like, well, chicken! I was actually surprised as to how much like real chicken they tasted like and not just a bouillon cube which I expected. Turns out actual dried chicken breast was used as an ingredient. Whodathunkit! I can see this one going over very well in the U.S., so get on it Lays!

Famously worcester sauce blended in Britain: I'm not one to chug straight bottles of worcester sauce so placing this flavor was a little tricky for me. It did seem a bit sweeter than I thought it should but I could be totally wrong about that. I could see this being mixed with other flavors rather than a stand alone, but either way, it was interesting.

Scrumptiously smoky bacon with pork from Norfolk: Being a lover of bacon, I was hopeful of this one, but also skeptical as artificially flavored bacon products almost never meet expectations. After seeing that actual dried pork shoulder was used, I felt a little better, but only a little because smoke flavouring was also used, which is often the downfall. Right off the bat I got a BacO's/bacon bits type taste which I definitely contribute to the artificial smoky flavor, but some of the real bacon does come through afterwards. I'd say with some tweaks, like toning down the smoky, this could be a big seller in the states.

 Definitively prawn cocktail with vale of Evesham tomatoes: This one worried me the most. Seafood potato chips? Hmm. I proceeded with caution taking a small bite and was surprised to not get any seafood flavor at all. After inspecting the bag and learning that only prawn cocktail seasoning, among tomato and onions, were used making it taste like nothing more than cocktail sauce. That was actually a relief. I can't really see Americans jumping all over this one, but it wasn't bad.

So there you have it, 8 weird chips from England! If you have any interest in trying these for yourself, they do seem to be easily accessible through a variety of online shops including Amazon. Just search for Walkers crisps. I'm assuming they call them crisps instead of chips because they call french fries chips. Silly England!  

31 Album Reviews from 2014

Here is the complete list of all 31 reviews. They don't start off in any specific order, but it tends to be the albums I liked least at the top and builds up to a list within a list. my top 10 of 2014. Remember, these are 31 albums I invested time in to, so they aren't all positive reviews! Agree? Disagree? I want to hear what you think!

Alestorm - Sunset On The Golden Age

††† - Crosses

Body Count - Manslaughter

The Algorithm - Octopus4

The Acacia Strain - Coma Witch

Eluveitie - Origins

Chevelle - La Gargola

Destiny Potato - Lun

Skyharbor - Guiding Lights

Cavalera Conspiracy - Pandemonium

Devil You Know - The Beauty Of Destruction

Periphery - Clear

Dog Fashion Disco - Sweet Nothings

Pink Floyd - The Endless River

Slipknot - .5: The Gray Chapter

Primus - Primus & The Chocolate Factory

The Contortionist - Language

Unearth - Watchers Of Rule

Mastodon - Once More 'Round The Sun

Scamp - The Deadcalm

Psychostick - Revenge Of The Vengeance

My Top 10 of 2014:
10. Devin Townsend - Z2 (Dark Matters & Sky Blue)

9. Animals As Leaders - The Joy Of Motion

8. Machine Head - Bloodstone & Diamonds

7. Opeth - Pale Communion

6. Trioscapes - Digital Dream Sequence
5. Monuments - The Amanuensis
4. Whitechapel - Our Endless War
3. Killer Be Killed - Killer Be Killed

2. Cloudkicker - Live With Intronaut

1. Nobis - Confession

2014 Album Reviews: Nobis - Confession

There is one question I ask myself when choosing my album of the year: "what band occupied my iPod the longest?". This year, Cloudkicker came very close, but I had to give it up to Nobis and their album 'Confession'. There's a good chance you are unfamiliar with this band as they are unsigned and have been M.I.A. since 2007. Hailing from northern Maine, these guys lead the local metal scene back in the day and it looks like they are back to prove they have far from lost their touch. With the addition of two former members of another Maine metal band, Donnybrook, they have managed to create an amazing album from start to finish that kept their original badass sound and threw in some new influences that they have acquired throughout the years. The stand-out track for me, if I had to choose one, would be "House of Cards", but other than the instrumental filler track "Gehalgod", there isn't a weak track on the album. I urge you to head over to their Bandcamp page and give 'Confession' a download. You'll thank me.

2014 Album Reviews: Cloudkicker - Live With Intronaut

For those not familiar, Cloudkicker is not a band but one person, Ben Sharp. He writes, performs and records everything himself and releases all of his albums independently through Bandcamp. Ben has gone on record in the past to say that he never intended on performing live. Well, something big changed that this year: he met Intronaut! They graciously offered to learn his songs and be his backup band for a tour and luckily for all of us, he took them up on that offer. 

I was able to attend one of these performances, but before I tell you what I thought, I must mention that I had an absolutely horrible time getting to the show. I'm not a big fan of driving in Boston at all. Those damn one-way streets! I got lost as I usually do in Boston, but with traveling alone I struggled a bit more to navigate my way through the hellish roads than usual and got into my first ever fender bender with a cabbie. No one got hurt, but it was still incredibly disappointing for me. I was already running late and now this. Cloudkicker was the opener and the whole reason I was going to the show and now I'm going to miss it. Things got settled and my buddy who I was meeting up with told me they haven't hit the stage yet so there was still a glimmer of hope! 

The next challenge was finding a parking spot which I quickly learned is nearly an impossible mission is Allston, the section of Boston where the club was located. After driving in circles for twenty minutes, I was forced to park a mile away and walk, which made the little bit of hope I had left disappear with every step I took. Finally, I arrived at the club. Expecting to have completely miss them, I entered just as the lights were dimmed. I made it in time! Hooray! 

As soon as they started playing, all of my trouble went away. It was easily one of the best live performances I have ever seen and they absolutely stole the show. As awful of a time I had getting there, it was 100% worth it just for the chance to see this amazing group of musicians playing songs that were never meant to be played live.

As for the album (I know, I know, it's about damn time!), I had no idea this was even being released and turned into a giddy little school girl when I found out about it. There aren't any new songs on it, just a playlist of his strongest material that all translated perfectly in the live setting. I have lost count of how many times I have listened to this already and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon! If you haven't listened to Cloudkicker before, this album is a great place to start.

I should also mention Ben did release an album of new material this year, Little Histories. It's more of a rock album that, dare I say, sounds like it was written with the intention of being played live. One can hope anyway! Although I prefer the live album, this is still a great addition to his resume. He truly has a way with creating atmospheric tunes that transport you to a place I would much rather be.

2014 Album Reviews: Killer Be Killed - Killer Be Killed

When I caught wind that vocalist Greg Puciato (The Dillinger Escape Plan) and Max Cavalera (Sepultura/Soulfly/Cavalera Conspiracy/Nailbomb) was working on a side project together, I was intrigued. They mentioned they were going for a thrashy, Nailbomb type of sound which could have gone either way, but I held on to hope. Then I heard that bassist/vocalist Troy Sanders (Mastodon) and drummer Dave Elitch (ex-The Mars Volta) jumped on board, I knew the sound was going to change dramatically and that excited the hell out of me. Supergroups are almost never what they should be, being a muted version of each band that just never come together well. Killer Be Killed is exactly what a supergroup should be. Each member brings their own element to the group without being too overpowering to create songs that fans of each individual band can be proud of. I really hope we hear more from these guys in the near future.

2014 Album Reviews: Whitechapel - Our Endless War

Whitechapel has been evolving their sound for the past few albums which have been dividing their fans: it's now the "original" fans that prefer their more "brutal" deathcore/death metal sound that they started with against the fans who have embraced their exploration of other styles yet still remaining heavy as hell. I not only welcome this change, I prefer it. It's no secret that groove metal is my preference over blast beats, so seeing these guys move more in that direction little by little is fine by me! The song "The Saw Is The Law" certainly fulfills all my groove metal requirements, but the winner on 'Our Endless War' for me is definitely "Digg's Road" which I believe is the best song they have written to date. This has been my go-to angry album I blast in my car on the way home from a bad day at work. 

2014 Album Reviews: Monuments - The Amanuensis

Monuments, among similar bands like Tesseract and Periphery, seemed to have contracted the "can't-hang-on-to-a-singer" virus that has plagued them for years. With the loss of three vocalists, their second album has introduced number four: Chris Baretto. If you are a fan of Periphery, that name may sound familiar as Chris was in the group for a short period of time before being fired for not giving it his all. It seems that battling through so many struggles has at least paid off for both Monuments and Chris as their meeting has made for an incredible album. Chris had a lot to prove to doubting fans but he obviously took that as a challenge and crushed it to pieces by giving one of the best vocal performances of the year. He even brought a little Michael Jackson flair at times which works surprisingly well! I just hope that the curse has been lifted and we see these guys working together from now on.